Five Reasons You Should Wait to Settle Down

Posted by The Marksman at 7 June, at 13 : 59 PM Print

The trend in America is for people to live their lives get married and reproduce, while living in a house on the hills with a white picket fence.  That is what the American Dream is supposed to be, and some have geared their entire life towards getting married just so they can fit into this nice box that society has created for everyone.  There was a time several decades ago when a woman had to marry a man in order to be allowed to move out of her parents home, men would come to the house and “court” the woman until he decided she was fit to be his wife.

That was considered the “proper” way to do things back then, so why in the world are we as a society still doing things the same way?  Have we not evolved and realized that there are better ways to do things, and that just because something was a tradition does not mean it is really useful today?  Studies do show that we are slowly realizing that, as the average age of brides and grooms getting married for the first time has risen steadily in recent years.  Here are five reasons you should wait to settle down.

1. The older you are when you get married the more mature both people are, so that typically leads to a longer lasting marriage with less problems.  In 2008, the PEW Research Center reported a strong correlation between the older age of a couple at the time of marriage and their likelihood to stay married. For those who are still waiting to find the right one, and for those who are starting over, this is great news.

2. One thing that is a constant is that we as people continue to learn things about ourselves everyday, and as each day passes you learn more and more about the person you are.  This means you will have a much better understanding of the person you are, and what you have to offer someone else. You’ve had the chance to strain out some of your own less becoming traits in other relationships. So you probably like yourself better than when you were younger, and a partner will benefit from your self-acceptance and emotional generosity. Your best self (so far) becomes the person you get to present to your life-long mate.

3. In the long run you will have a healthier family situation because you will be more ready to offer a stable home.  Establishing a vocation is likely to mean that you’ve had more time to chip away at debts and grow your financial stability. This creates a more stable environment for raising children.  You’re not as foolish, reactionary, or raw as you may have been in younger years. You’ll be more likely to pass along strong character traits to your children and not unhealthy patterns you’ve outgrown and already worked through. Your offspring will greatly benefit from your decision to wait and choose wisely.

4. You have withstood the test of time, and are more reliably able to commit to someone and stay with it.  You’ve had the chances to get an education, establish a career, or at least develop good work ethics. This means that you also have had chances to learn how to stick to your word through various circumstances. You know better than to get into a commitment when you recognize it won’t work. You’re likely to have paid consequences for unreliability, so you’ll choose commitments carefully and take them more seriously.

5. You have sowed all the Oates you needed to when you were in college, and a single person working at their first job.  People who get married at a young age without dating other people tend to struggle with the question of “What did I miss?”, and are more likely to be curios about what is out there.  A person who remained single and dated many people will have grown tired of juggling multiple dates, managing their black book, and finding ways to let the other person down easily.  Getting to know a new person almost every week starts to get old, and when they do decide to settle down with that one person there is no curiosity because they have already experienced it.

When you consider the legacy you are building and leaving behind, never fret that it’s “too late.” It is the maturity that you bring to the table that will increase the joy and improve the quality in your partnership and family life.  That is why waiting to settle down may just be the right move for you.

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