For most fans their team is not actually playing in the Super Bowl on Sunday. It will be more about the food, the festivities, and the spectacle than it is about the actually game. The neighborhood Super Bowl party has become the biggest thing in this country, more people watch than any other event in America.
Many of us will be attending a Super Bowl party with a few people who aren’t entirely focused on the actual game or who don’t follow football or sports in general. If you are not lucky enough to have a significant other that watches football, you are going to be faced with explaining some things during the big game.
So with that in mind, here are the answers to five Super Bowl questions your non-fanatical significant other might ask at the party.
1. What is that thing on Drew Brees’ face?
This is actually a good question. When I first saw the scar on Brees’ cheek I wondered what it was. The answer (via Wikipedia) is that it’s only a birthmark. That was anti-climactic.
2. Why is the game in Miami again?
Fair question, since the Super Bowl was held in Miami just four years ago. Your answer here is pretty basic: The host city has to be able to handle a large influx of visitors and it has to be nice in February. Who wants to be in Green Bay or New York in early February when it is surely cold? Also, Miami is a great city to visit, and they have perfected handling these large events so it is much easier to do it there.
3. Why is Peyton Manning pointing and shouting terms like “Oscar 45″?
Possible question from a casual fan who has never noticed Peyton Manning hopping around behind the line, pointing at the opposing team, and yelling at everyone before each snap. You don’t want to go into too much detail here about audibles, hot reads, and blitz packages. All you simply need to say is “he is telling everyone on his team what to do, Peyton is smart almost like a coach on the field”. If you go into details about football terminology he/she is going to look at you like you’re crazy.
4. Why The Who?
The NFL is still in shock from Nipplegate when Justin Timberlake decided to help Janet Jackson show her breasts to the world. Ever since then, they have gone with safe older acts for the most part to ensure the show does not get too raunchy. The TV Networks received a bunch of complaints from parents who seemed scared to explain to their child what a breast was.
5. Isn’t that Reggie Bush, didn’t he agree to marry Kim Kardashian if they won the game?
Yes that is Reggie Bush, and you must not have seen the interview. When asked Reggie said that it wasn’t true faster than you can turn on the light in a room. He made it abundantly clear that he was not going to propose if the Saints won the game, too bad for her since Chloe wrapped up Lamar Odom in what a mere six weeks.
6. I thought Tony Dungy was the coach of the Colts?
This is only an extreme case I think most people know that Tony Dungy retired, but if you’re faced this take a deep breath and realize you like them and won’t know anything about the event you are going to with them next week. Tony Dungy retired last year to spend more time with his family, he felt it was a calling of his faith and that he could do more for society if he did not coach. I think it was a courageous decision to leave those millions of dollars behind, don’t you agree?
LOL!!! Good one.
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LikeIt offends me that you caved into the PC bullshit of a lone complainer. You have sold out to the man...or, in this case, woman. Unfortunately, in your effort to prostrate yourself to the new reality, you used the dated he/she construction. This is invalid because it still puts 'he' and therefore all males first. The correct methodology is to just use the female pronoun at all times. So hike up your hose and get back to editing!
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LikeI re-molded the article to account for guys that know nothing about sports as well!
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LikeBetter answers to questions, in order to entertain self and mislead annoying girlfriend to STFU while the game is on. 1. Drew Brees cheek? He got that in a medeival jousting match since he's a regular at Ye Olde Faire. A Mace grazed him as he went in for the Coup De Grace. 2. This is easy, it's the South but it isn't the redneck South so everyone wins. You get the sun without the risk of being lynched or ass raped by Jethro and Clem. 3. Peyton Manning is God amongst Quarterback studs. Just respect the calls and don't try to get on his level. 4. Your girlfriend shouldn't be asking about halftime being that nobody in their right mind has watched that abortion since Janet Jackson. The channel should be on something more interesting like the Lingerie Bowl or Playstation 3. 5. Lol if Reggie Bush is smart he will keep her as a Goomah. You don't marry the leftover piece from a parasite like Ray J - I explain why here. 6. Pffft leaving behind money for family and church, are we supposed to believe Tony is that good a guy? Well ya he seems to be, I am glad he left his legacy behind with a stud team like the Colts and not Tampa Bay's ungrateful, bandwagon hopping asses.
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LikeI know your blog is a sort of man-space, but I would just like to point out that I'm currently dating a guy who knows nothing about football, and I will probably be answering these questions as well as more basic play-of-game ones while I cheer on my Indianapolis Colts (yay for my hometown team) on Sunday. I just take exception to the idea that only boyfriends would have the answers.
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LikeYour right Mary, I think I am going to re-tool my audience a bit and include stuff for the Alpha females such as yourself! I just changed it a bit as I forgot there area lot of guys that don't watch football either.
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