Don’t Let Text Messaging aka “Texting” Ruin your Dating Life

Posted by The Marksman at 3 March, at 12 : 41 PM Print

We live in a new age, and just about everyone has some sort of sophisticated cell phone these days.  Blackberries, iPhones, Android, should I continue?  All of these devices have enabled text messaging to rise to an all new level, not only can you text, but you can check your status on all your social networking sites.

As a result of all of this text messaging has become the scourge of dating; people will text more willingly than attempting to carry on a normal telephone conversation.  I totally understand the draw to text messaging it is convenient, you can reply at your leisure, and you can do other things while you are texting.  The problem arises because text messaging almost makes things TOO convenient to the point where, it is easy to not talk to you on the phone and keep you in the text messaging mode.  It’s much easier to launch a new relationship by exchanging texts than it is to talk, and quite easy to say and do things over a screen that one would never have the nerve to do face to face (or say ear to ear).

We are going to be real here texting is here to stay it is not going anywhere, so you need to learn how to manage your communications when you meet someone new.  We are all guilty of it you exchange phone numbers with someone, and you send them a text just to say hello.  They respond, and a conversation ensues, before you know it this becomes a trend because more than likely you both are texting during work hours which may help you get through the day.

You have to refrain from doing this, sending an occasional text to say hello or ask a quick question is perfectly fine, but getting someone’s life story on the screen of your cell phone just is not going to cut it.  It makes the interactions with the person almost impersonal, there is no emotion and one can only deal with so many smiley faces and “LOL” statements before things get repetitive.  Also with the new services available on social networks they may already be following you on twitter or Facebook, so you can count those as texts as well.

Most of the time there is no pertinent information contained in a text message, and should not be with the exception of communicating to setup a phone conversation later.  Telling a joke or passing on a bit of news to someone are acceptable as well, but under no circumstances should text messaging become your primary method of communication with a potential date.  Much like Twitter and Facebook status updates people post things that no one cares about except themselves, so texting my co-worker is dressed badly today really has no relevance so why text it to a potential date?  The other person does not care, you did not enrich their lives by sending that text to them.

The other problem with relying on text messaging too heavily is there is no instant gratification, you ask a question and may get an answer to it for several hours.  So what is the point of asking time sensitive questions that you need to know the answer too over a text message?  That leads to another piece of advice, never ask for a date over a text message.  Many people have done it before, getting engaged in the texting back and forth and ask for a date at the spur of the moment.  Do not do it, asking for a date over text message gives you no type of information.  When you ask a person out you want to get some indication of how they feel about it, and you will not get that over a text.  Then if they do not respond you are in a bind, you won’t be able to confront them about it without looking needy and pettty, and they can just say they never got the text or their phone ate it.

You want to ask questions like that in person or at least over the phone, you will be able to gauge the persons tone when they respond and get a sense of if they actually are interested in going on that date with you.  Don’t be a coward this will show your confidence and your ability to accept rejection without taking the easy way out.  On another note breaking up with someone over a text message is cowardly as well, be straight forward with the person and tell them how you feel; using a text message for that (albeit funny) is one of the most cowardly things you can do.

Overall, texting is a good thing to have in your lines of communication, but it should not replace in person contact or phone conversation as the primary means of contact.  You have to manage this communication and not get carried away with it, if a person does not have the time or is unwilling to take a phone call from then the prospects of a relationship working out with them are grim.  Do not make it easy for the person to keep you in that zone, show your ineterest by seeing them in person rather than using text messaging as “quality time”.  Do this correctly, and texting will become a valuable tool rather than a hindrance to your relationships.

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