Noun 1. delusions of grandeur *- a delusion (common in paranoia) that you are much greater and more powerful and influential than you really are.

delusion, psychotic belief – (psychology) an erroneous belief that is held in the face of evidence to the contrary

megalomania – a psychological state characterized by delusions of grandeur

I am truly convinced that the Internet & Social Networking sites caters to those that suffer from Delusions of Grandeur. I’m sure everyone has came across those types that fit the above definition, now more so on the Internet than ever, thanks to Twitter, Facebook & Myspace. You have those people who get a few followers, gasp dare I say it ‘fans’ and their ego grows enormously. Their Twitter & Facebook updates usually consist of only one subject:

Themselves.

I wonder if certain people actually wake up in the morning with new status updates circulating in their heads. I wonder if they already have their Twitter updates written out, and if they actually concoct updates just to add shock value to their seemingly ‘grandiose’ online life, to offset the fact that offline, it’s anything but that. I mean seriously, how many times a day do these people sit online googling themselves and actually get excited to see their search results?

Megalomania much?

At first I wasn’t a fan of Facebook, but because of a 15 yr class reunion that has came and gone since this original piece was written, I’ve become a lot more active on it. I’ve even written about the disdain I’ve held for “FB” but because of a few people I’ve been able to reconnect with, the disdain has faded a little. It’s proven to be a good tool with catching up with people that I haven’t seen in years and to read about what they’ve been up to. But as with any social networking site, it seems as though everyone is attempting to ‘out do’ each other. Last year, Bassey Ikpi posted a link on Facebook to the recent Washington Post article, “Status Symbol Update” by Patricia Beauchamp.
“The real torture came afterward, though, when I checked my “status update” feed on Facebook. While I was proving that fire burns skin and trying to concoct the perfect, effortlessly witty yet decadent way to describe the experience, my friends were doing things that I could only dream of: Jacob was “skydiving,” Marie was “polishing her husband’s Emmy” and Nate was “closing a deal with ABC.” I had just spent an afternoon experiencing life as a human shish kebab, and here was yet another series of intimidating status postings that made me nearly confess to the world, “Patricia is considering plagiarizing other people’s Facebook updates so her life won’t seem so pathetic — which is, sadly, even more pathetic.”

The complete article is a definite must read and it’s sure to garner a few laughs as well. I remember having a conversation last year with Facebook’s VP of Business Development, while attending a Marketing & Advertising conference in Orlando. What I found interesting is that, he also noticed the, “My status is bigger than your status” phenomenon going on. We joked about how even online, there are people who constantly need to have their egos stroked because maybe it’s just not happening as much offline.

With the advent of Twitter and it’s ‘microblogging’ popularity increasing over the years, so has the fact that people are willing to divulge just about anything and everything, usually about themselves of course in 140 characters or less.

Sometimes I find myself sitting and reading stuff online via either Facebook or Twitter and wanting to type OUT LOUD IN CAPS, “STFU, Log off & Go read a book!!“. Maybe that could be considered a social networking breakdown.

Just as Facebook has their “status symbols”, I think Twitter’s status symbols are those who enjoy having a larger number “followers” than the amount of people they “follow” themselves. I’m not sure, but I think it actually makes some people feel more important. Then there are the “Lists”. The Who’s Who lists of Twitter that are usually compiled by some online magazine. Who are the people who come up with these lists? I think a more deserving list to compile should be titled, “The Top 20 Bullshitters of Social Media”. Believe me, there’s a lot more than 20 of them. It reminds me of the Who’s Who List of top high school students and college students, the main point of it all was to get you to buy an overpriced book that had your name in it, but now, it seems as though the main point of these sites who compile these lists are to garner more page views which in return can produce more ad revenue for them, not you.

The realm of Social Networking is definitely running it’s course in the Web 2.0 world. Who knows, maybe in Web 3.0 people will actually learn that being on EVERY social media outlet, does not make you a Sociologist but just someone who may have way too much time on their hands. The irony of it all, most of these people who suffer from Social Networking Delusions of Grandeur, who have these boisterous personalities online, are usually about as dull as a brick offline. Go. Figure.

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Charles stood in front of her car to prevent her from driving away because she had forgotten her cell phone.  When Slingsby ran him down, somehow Charles managed to get on his feet despite hitting his head on the pavement.  While he was making it back to his front door Slingsby spun the car around and hit him for a second time. The next thing he knew he was in a hospital. Charles now suffers from memory loss, impaired concentration, mood swings, headaches, and dizzy spells. After a year of denying involvement, Slingsby admitted to what she did, and was convicted of dangerous driving. She was sentenced to 11 months in a young offender’s institution, as well as a 2 year restraining order banning her from making contact with Charles and a 3 year driving ban.

Just imagine that this entire situation started over the fact that she thought Charles cheated while they were playing video games.  There does not seem to be any confirmation of whether he did or he didn’t, but in the grand scheme of things does it really matter?  Even if you cheat at a video game does that warrant being run over twice by a vehicle?  Of course not, any person who would do that is seriously disturbed and needs to get some help.  At the end of the day, it’s just a video game.

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Apparently this is a bit of a steal for Tyler because studios in that same area generally average about $1900 per month, so he is pay less than half of that.  The problem is though he is still getting ripped off, the average price per square foot in a studio is generally around $72, but Tyler is paying about $123.07 per square foot which is almost double.  In New York location seems to outweigh trying to get the best deal, and this apartment (if you can call it that) is in a prime location.

The renter in this situation said he values the fact that he can now enjoy what New York City has to offer rather than a long commute which he was faced with before.  He may be used to this type of living as his previous apartment was 96 square feet, but being an Architect has helped him as well.  He built custom furniture to maximize the space, but does not have a sink and share a bathroom with three other apartments.

I know that New York is great and all, but he can have it.  Give me a nice sized house for that price and you won’t hear me complain.  Being able to have some privacy when you need to use the bathroom is worth a few hundred dollars a month by itself.  This fascination with putting yourself through something like this and paying exorbitant rental fees just for the joy of living in New York is perplexing, and I guess it’s t he right fit for some people.  What do you think?  Look at your living space right now, and see if you could somehow downsize it all and live everyday in 78 square foot space.  Do you think you could pull it off?

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There are a few occurrences in life when the people that you don’t know all too well show their true colors. While it is shocking and disappointing to learn that your kid’s godparent is a drooling racist, we should embrace life’s great reveals because it affords us clarity in washing away the filth from our lives. Recently the death of Osama Bin Laden was a great reveal of some military haters and as a supporter of “our boys” you know that didn’t sit well with me. Some of these same haters loved my homage to Audie Murphy and Sgt. Ed Eaton (wtf hypocrites much?) I found the paradox to be hilarious… honor a soldier only if he makes it famous huh?

Have you had to drop some people over their deep dark secret passions coming out uncontrollably over social networks? Shit man, I know I have – half the Republicans on my Facebook got hidden after Barry O took office. Not because I don’t like Republicans but because I can smell ambiguous racism from a block away – call me Catcher Dragon! When things don’t go our way we can type and say the dumbest things… Here’s a list of things that makes the ugly come out of our so-called “friends”:

Soccer Matches (Europeans and South Americans get especially competitive… and racist).
Elections (2009 – 2011 was the great revealer of closet racists nation-wide).
High Profile Crime – No worries O.J. is gone forever but there will be more.
Celebrations – Someone posts a happy comment about an award, in comes the haters.
Anything Patriotic – Snark is one thing but people get downright mean on this one.
Anything Religious or Political – These 2 have caused the most change to my friends-list.

How about you folks, how many did you drop after an election or a sporting event? Are people really that stupid to not check their offensive speech?

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Arnold is a famous movie star and a former Mr. Olympia, sure he is getting old and looking a bit rough from the ravages of steroid use.  But with his status and money Mr. Schwarzenegger could have easily found a more suitable mistress, and especially not one that he would see every day inside his house cleaning it.  Arnold broke the first rule of cheating, you don’t cheat with someone you work with or who works for you.  The proximity is much too close, and the person has leverage over you and there is not much you can do about it.  Arnold put himself in a position where he had to do just about anything she wanted him to do in order to guard his secret.

If you are going to do something like cheat on your wife or girlfriend, the first rule is to upgrade over what you already have.  Arnold picked the low hanging fruit that was sitting in his house, when with a little bit more effort could have gotten something that would have looked better and probably kept the situation a secret.  The other question out of all of this is why did Arnold “raw dog” the house keeper?  That is another big mistake he made when he decided to step out on his wife, and now it is going to come back and bite him in the ass in a big way.

When it all comes down to it, no one can pinpoint why people cheat on their spouse or significant other because people are different.  If you are going to do it at least make sure you are doing it the right way where you won’t get caught and by all means do not have a secret love child out of the situation.  Always, use some type of pregnancy prevention, be sure what you are cheating with is at least a decent upgrade over what you have already, and avoid picking the person you cheat with out of your professional life.

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Have you ever felt like you were addicted to Facebook, texting, or downloading things on your mobile device?  Many people today are constantly looking down texting and playing with their phone, or when they get home they constantly check their email and Facebook for status updates.  There has become an obsession with social media, and staying in touch with what’s going on with friends and on social networks.

Researchers found 79 per cent of students subjected to a complete media blackout for just one day reported adverse reactions ranging from distress to confusion and isolation.  Teenagers spoke of overwhelming cravings while others reported symptoms such as ‘itcing’ which is a familiar sensation for drug addicts fighting to break an addiction.

Some even reported bulimia like symptoms where they would deprive themselves of their phones or laptops so they could binge for hours at a time later.  The study, focused on students aged between 17 and 23 in ten countries. Researchers banned them from using phones, social networking sites, the internet and TV for 24 hours.  They were allowed to use landline phones or read books and were asked to keep a diary.

One in five reported feelings of withdrawal like an addiction while 11 per cent said they were confused or felt like a failure.  Nearly one in five (19 per cent) reported feelings of distress and 11 per cent felt isolated. Just 21 per cent said they could feel the benefits of being unplugged.

Some students even reported stress from simply not being able to touch their phone.  One participant reported: “I am an addict. I don’t need alcohol, cocaine or any other derailing form of social depravity.

“Media is my drug; without it I was lost.’

Another wrote: ‘I literally didn’t know what to do with myself. Going down to the kitchen to pointlessly look in the cupboards became regular routine, as did getting a drink.”

This is a disturbing trend and it just proved that people can get addicted to anything even if it’s not something you smoke or ingest.  There have been many people who have joked that they are addicted to Facebook without realizing that they just might be without knowing it.  One way you can tell if you have a technology addiction is leave your cell phone at home one day when you go out or to work, and see how you feel the whole day without it.  See if you feel the urge to drive home and get it, and are anxious or nervous that you may be “missing something”.

Another good test is to deactivate your Facebook account for two days and see if you find yourself worry about status updates and what people may be posting or talking about.  If you can deactivate your account and not give it that much thought then you probably are not addicted to it.  It’s an interesting thing before social media was around and this constant need for communication existed, most people were addicted to normal things like hookers, drugs, and gambling.

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Sagging pants have been a part of pop culture for a long time now, and the initial premise of the trend was to avoid snug fitting pants.  The true problem was that clothing designers did not make clothes that fit the desires of the “urban” culture, so people hung their pants low as a way to bring in the baggy look that clothing designers neglected for so long.  In recent years the sag has gotten lower and lower to the point that people would tighten their belts around their thighs in order to keep their pants up, and it would even impede the ability for them to walk normally.

Well the Florida House of Representatives apparently had enough, and have outlawed low sagging pants in school starting this week.  The Florida House of Representatives K- 20 Education Innovation Subcommittee unanimously passed the legislative bill targeting the hip hop trend.  “This pro-family, pro-education, pro-jobs bill provides each school district … adopt a student dress code of conduct, a policy that explains to each student their responsibility,” said Rep. Hazelle Rogers, who introduced the bill. “This would make for a better school district and more productive students.”

The bill prohibits students from wearing clothing that “exposes the underwear or body parts in an indecent or vulgar manner.”

This is not the first time that sagging pants have become a legal issue. In 2008 Riviera Beach in Florida passed a by-law that said anyone caught with sagging pants would be subject to a $150 fine or community service, and habitual offenders faced the possibility of jail time. The law was later abolished when it was deemed unconstitutional; this came after a teenager spent a night in jail for wearing his pants too low.

At least this will give some relief from this trend while kids are in school, but this will not make the sagging trend go away.  Kids will still do it until it becomes unpopular and a new fad shows itself, but what may become an issue is enforcing this in schools.  It is against the law for them to wear it, so if a kid comes to school with their pants showing will they be carted off in a police car?  This is going to be problematic to enforce because there will be kids who will challenge it, and can you imagine the number of police calls to schools for kids wearing their pants too low.  We will see how this works out, but either way it will be interesting to watch.

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Many people struggle to find motivation when they are in the gym, and it affects their ability to be consistent with their workouts.  Being consistent Is the only way to continually get good results over the long term.  Too many people start a workout program and end up stopping after a few weeks and in some cases after a few months.

Only using the inside of the gym for extended periods of time may wear on some people, especially those who are the outdoorsy type, so consider taking your workout outside on occasion or have a few days out of the week where you do a workout outside.  Whether you choose to perform more outdoor-based workouts, such as rock climbing, hiking or kayaking, or you choose to perform a resistance program outside using free weights, the fresh change of scenery can help you overcome boredom at the gym.

Music is also another way to pass the time at the gym without getting too bored, but you can’t just choose any type of music.  You don’t want to be in the gym listening to R&B slow jams while trying to gut out 30 minutes on the treadmill, that type of music is generally not upbeat to get you going.  The type of music is important, something upbeat with a fast or moderate beat is generally a good choice.  If you get the music right, you will be so focused on it while you are working out that 30 minutes will go by very quickly.

The most effective to prevent yourself from getting bored with your workouts is to get a work out partner.  Ideally, you want a workout partner who is slightly more advanced and developed than you are. This is because they will not only add a social element to your workout program, but they will also help to really inspire you to get to their level.  The reason this works well is because the days where you are thinking you might skip the gym your workout partner is generally the person who will encourage you to still go anyway and there will be times you do that for them.  It is the best way to stay consistent.

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1.  They very rarely last the entire year -  Most people make resolutions and promises to themselves that they are going to follow them, and for the most part they do for a very short period of time.  As each month passes, so does the desire and will for the person to keep up with the resolution.  This continues to a point where a person settles back in to the comfortable things that caused them to want to make the resolutions in the first place, so it defeats the entire point of making “resolutions”.  If someone is not motivated enough to do these things without declaring a resolution then what makes them think they will be strong will enough to do it because it’s a new year?

2.  They provide an excuse to partake in the behavior before the resolution is “in effect” – This concept is especially true on weight loss or spending resolutions.  Oh I plan on spending less money or losing a ton of weight next year that’s my resolution.  Well in the meantime the person feels they should take the liberty to totally spend or gorge themselves on food before the resolution kicks in.  Well in most cases this will only set the person back farther, and by the time they new year starts they are just working to get back to where they were when they initially declared they were going to change their ways.

3.  They put a limit on what you actually can do by setting an attainable goal – Some people set very attainable New Year’s resolutions like “go out on more dates” or “don’t see any Channing Tatum movies next year”.  But in reality anytime you set a goal you are also setting a limit, and if that limit is relatively low then the person may be limiting what they can actually accomplish by stopping once they reach said goal.  Why just ban Channing Tatum movies when you can ban Seth Rogan movies as well?

4.  They are in many cases unrealistic goals that are near impossible to attain – There are times where the goal a person’s sets does not make sense, and is near impossible to reach without serious life modifications to do so.  A person who is a chef saying they plan on losing 100 pounds is probably highly unattainable, or a person who works in the fashion industry vowing to spend less money on clothes.  As the person starts down this road they realize that they are forced to alter their life too much in order to reach it and quit the resolution all together, which defeats the purpose of setting on in the first place.

5.  People generally end up making the same resolutions the next year because they failed on them – What is the point of making resolutions when you keep making the sames ones over and over because of failure?  If you are the type that likes to make resolutions, look back on the ones you have made for the past three years and see if they were similar.  In most cases they were, and then ask yourself if you accomplished any of them.  Based on your answer it just may drive home the point that resolutions very rarely work, and if you really want to accomplish something you can start today instead of waiting another year.

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Drinking is one of those things that people all over the world enjoy doing at some point in their lives.  Once a person turns 21 the alcoholic flood gates typically open, and generally it starts heavy the minute the clock strikes 12:00am on their 21^st birthday.  At this point people start to define just what type of drinker they are going to be, some drink on that first day and hardly touch a drink after that.  Others become alcoholics and are found in some sort of drunken stupor all the time, but what type of drinker

Social, or “moderate,” drinking in the United States would be defined as no more than two drinks a day. So if you’re gulping down a couple of pints a day from Monday to Friday with work colleagues, having a couple of glasses of red at a dinner party on Saturday and taking two cold ones from the fridge for Sunday’s game, you’re pushing the boundaries, but you wouldn’t be rushed for a stomach-pumping session any time soon. This is where you want to be as the guy climbing the career ladder or mixing with friends; you’re sociable, can enjoy a drink, but you also know when to stop.

A heavy drinker is someone who regularly drinks above the safe limits defined in “social drinking.” Consuming more than four units in one session is potentially harmful to your health and, if done regularly, can lead to serious problems. Cirrhosis of the liver, damaged pancreas, sexual or heart problems are all linked to heavy alcohol consumption. But don’t just consider physical signs. When you find yourself deserted by your colleagues — again — as you dance the cha-cha-cha on the pool table, things may have reached a new level. If relationships, work productivity or home life show some signs of suffering due to drinking habits, you should cut down your consumption.

A “problem” drinker will be clunking a six-pack onto the counter on a daily basis — despite alcohol-related health, work or social problems. While not being dependent on alcohol so as to experience withdrawal symptoms, the drinking is a social and daily habit. Do you feel guilty about drinking? Do you often skip work after a night out? These are more subtle signs than cirrhosis of the liver (which is likely to be evident at this point), but are all signs that you drink too much.

This is the muddy puddle at the bottom of the slippery slope. Where you were once the life and soul of the party, the young talent with an eye on the company director’s chair and the example of work/life balance, you now find yourself giving up on social and occupational commitments, drinking more to achieve any effect and experiencing withdrawal symptoms should you find yourself too broke to buy the booze.

Alcoholics will often deny excessive drinking, so counting up your weekly unit intake may not be the best way to become self-aware. Alcohol is worse that most drugs and can damage your internal organs in a major way, but people still choose to pound away over and over again in an attempt to escape their problems.  Healthy drinking is merely doing it in moderation, but there are not a lot of people who subscribe to this way of thinking.    Just sit back and look at how you drink and decide is it healthy for the way you want to live your life, answers to life’s problems were never found in a bottle.

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