In a lot of situations people who seemingly are doing well are just wearing a fancy mask to cover an ugly liability sheet. The person who doesn’t care about or ignores finances goes into relationships with these individuals that look good on the outside financially and then allows that person to take care of their finances also. Then a few years down the line when they’re both knee-deep in debt with no hope in sight he/she wonders at what went wrong with this seemingly smart individual. There are many snakes out there who hide their finances very well and show the outside world a picture of success and growth but in reality are no better off than someone working at a fast food restaurant. They may have some liquid assets but they are so deep in the red that if they were to lose that lawyer’s job then they’d be back home with mom or brother or sister.

My main point is that financial discussion is worthless if both parties do not know what questions to ask. Being that this is my subject I know that people get their eyes glazed over, lack the patience for, or have no clue whatsoever on. In certain situations if you are the financial expert, your significant other will have no problem with you being the family accountant (they better hope you aren’t fronting – see above). But if you wait until deep into a relationship knowing that your guy/girl likes shiny things, fancy restaurants and complains biweekly about her account being in the negative, then you are the asshole in that situation for expecting change. A money savvy person cannot marry a financial disaster, it just doesn’t make any sense. Why limit your fun and spending to maintain a strong defense with your finances only to have your wife or husband doing the exact opposite on their end?

As to the argument that this is something that should not be discussed when dating, I would say that financially educated people would be able to pick up on the warning signs based on conversation and habits of the person that they’re dating to know whether to broach the subject – to see if he or she is worthy long-term. If you want to keep your money, or better yet make your money continue to grow, then make sure your girl/guy has a little Suze Orman in him/her. If he/she doesn’t and you’re two years into a marriage wondering why you’re having to pick up a second job then the fault lies squarely on you.

Oh but love is all that matters right? Not quite – when it comes to finances everything in life is either an asset or a liability. So shop smart and look beyond the cute face and perfect figure to see if there is potential disaster in your mate.

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If you watch the lifetime movie network, or have had a conversation with a single woman lately you probably think men are all no good dogs.  Especially the Alpha male who is rich powerful, and has everything going for them.  You will hear women spin tales of these type of men leaving them crushed and heartbroken without as much as a thought to the pain they have inflicted.

There are two sides to every story, and if you thought about things objectively for a bit you would clearly see that not all men are like that.  A study even found that powerful women are just as likely to cheat as men, so that debunks all this media attention that guys are the only bad ones in relationships.

Self-confidence gained from a high-level job is the main link to unfaithfulness, not stress or potential risk, psychologists found.  Which means that cheating and being unfaithful is a HUMAN trait, and not just one reserved for men.

An online survey of 1,561 professionals revealed higher-level managers had the same desire for infidelity and likelihood of previous affairs, regardless of gender.  It boils down to the simple fact that when a person gets in a position of power they feel like they are untouchable, and thus have no qualms about cheating because they can just find someone else.

Prof Joris Lammers, of Tilburg University, the Netherlands, said: “People often assume that powerful men may be more likely to cheat. We found little correlation.”  So the next time you hear a woman say that all men are dogs, then tell her that women are just as likely to cheat as men.  It’s all about status, which would seem to indicate someone who is not in a position of power is less likely to cheat.

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A study conducted by researchers at the University of Tennessee concluded that marriages are more satisfying when wives are thinner than their husbands.  The researchers took a survey of 169 newlywed couples, and examined the implications of the husband and wifes body mass index (BMI).  The findings concluded that over time when the wife had a lower BMI than the husband, the marriage overall was more pleasent and satisfying for both parties.

Now this study probably did not reveal anything ground breaking that you did not already know, and as with any scientific study there are possible flaws to the way it was conducted.  With a sample size of only 169 couples it may not be a very good indication of the overal populace, but I don’t think anyone will argue with the conclusion of the study.

Many will just dismiss this as men being shallow and people have known it all along, but that really is not the whole story.  If you notice it says the marriage is more satisfying for both parties when the woman is smaller than their husband.  That comes from the fact that most women don’t want to date a man who is smaller or shorter than them, and they prefer to pick men who are much bigger than they are as mates.  Yes most men aren’t going to choose a woman that makes him look like a dwarf either, and this leads to a happier couple.

All this study revealed is that people want their marriage to meet a certain image, and they choose their mates accordingly.  One other important point is that it said the marriage was more satisfying, but had no bearing on if it helped the marriage to last longer which is probably more important.

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As dating and relationships have evolved, so have men and women.  You see a lot of men joining the metrosexual movement as a result of women wanting their men to show a more sensitive (feminine) side.  This is not the case for all women of course, but there are a lot out there who want a man who isn’t afraid to go get a manicure or pedicure.

Some women are wanting men who are willing to depart from the neanderthal ways of the past where women were beat over the head and dragged by ponytail.  But at the same time women do not want their men to become too feminine, and they want that neanderthal to come out at times.  Depending on what your approach is you have to know the right times to be the neanderthal and the times where it will get you in trouble.

When you are at work you need to leave the metrosexual stuff at home, you need to be assertive and command respect in the workplace.  If you are viewed as a pushover, or someone who can be pushed off of his opinion very easily then you will find yourself beind disrespected more times than not.  This does not mean you should not be a communicator and able to work easily with people to get things done, but you have to put out an aura of confidence in your views and opinions.  If your woman sees you handling business at work that will give her confidence that you can handle business in the household as well.

When things break around the house or somewhere else, then men should step up and play a major role in rectifying the situation.  If you ever watched the Cosby show, when things would break “Cliff” would always try to fix them rather than having his wife take care of it.  There will be times when the man won’t be able to fix it, but his woman will at least respect the fact he tried to do something rather than sitting on his ass watching her do it.

Being a man is as much about knowing when to put away the gruffness as it is taking care of your woman.  If your woman is having an event and wants you to attend, but your favorite team is playing a big game on Saturday, most men would find a way to watch the game.  But sometimes the manly thing to do is to make your woman happy, and surprise her by bucking the trend every now and then.  Most women in the situation are going to expect their man to find a way to watch the game, so taking charge and missing the game one time will show her you are not some mindless neanderthal.  Of course don’t do this too much, there are only so many games in a season.  Just tell your woman to not plan any events in the fall, and you can avoid the situation all together.

If you are out with your woman and some guy steps all over her new heels, and then fails to apologize or is an asshole about it you have to act.  You only use fisticuffs as a last resort when threatened, but you can’t let that transgression go unopposed.  The guy you are dealing with knows this, he expects to hear something from you and he is ready for it.  If you don’t step up in that situation then your woman may get the impression that if a mugging takes place, she might have to fend for herself or be prepared to run before you do.  It’s the code of men, other men know how the protocol works, so you will exchange words with the guy and some name calling will ensue then people separate you.  Both of you come out looking like a tough guy that was ready to defend his woman’s honor, but just be aware that some men don’t follow the code and you may end up in a fight.

Men should avoid taking the lead in situations where their woman knows more than them.  If your woman is a nurse and someone gets injured, get out of the way and let her user her knowledge to rectify the situaion.  All you are going to do is make the situation worse, and look like an ass doing it.  You have to find tht balance that will keep your woman happy, and prevent you from being too soft.  The most important part is to stay true to yourself and bet he person that you are, if your woman wants you to be a tough guy and that is not in your nature then be confident enough to tell her as much.

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When you’re out looking for a potential partner, you do your best to look good and be at the top of your game. Once you settle down, there’s not as much urgency because you’ve got someone. It’s the physical version of revealing your bad personality traits once you’re settled down.

Let’s be honest your body is not the same as it was when you were 20 years old, and you don’t burn calories like you used to.  People devote more energy to their children and less energy to themselves. You generally move more towards a sedentary office job, and spend more time in the office. We tend to be on the go more often, so we grab something quick to eat because we don’t have time to cook something or shop for healthy ingredients.

But, in addition to this lifestyle change and natural process of aging, do we shift our mentality once we settle down with someone, or do we always feel pressure to be attractive?

Here are a few examples of how we may or may not let ourselves go after getting in a relationship.

Women don’t ever want to stop looking fashionable and beautiful. But, once a woman is comfortably in a long term relationship, some may lounge around in sweats more often. Also, the “audience” she’s dressing for may change. Frankly, her boyfriend probably doesn’t know or have much of an opinion on her fashion outside of what makes her look “hot.” Women seem to dress for other women like it’s a competition.

When it comes to hair styles, most women seem to take care of their hair religiously until the day they die, regardless of their marital status.  But there are some women who know they have to keep their hair on point to find a man, and once that happens it becomes pony tails everyday.  What also seems to happen is women will get artificial braids put in their hair which allows for a nice look with minimal upkeep, but those braids have a shelf life on them.  You will often see some women leave those braids in their hair for almost a year, when they should be removed within a month or two.

There are a lot of women in the gym, but a large percentage of them never go near one.  You have a large subset of women who exercise to find a man because the gym is full of men on the hunt, and they give the perception that they like to workout as well.  Then when they get in a relationship they disappear from the gym, and get cozy in the relationship without giving it a second thought.

Men typically want to go casual anytime they can, while a man is single, they try to dress well to show their personal swag. Once a man settles down with a woman, the pressure is gone. In the long run, most men don’t care what they are wearing, and they still feel they can pull any woman in the room.

Different types of men view getting haircuts differently, some go every week and keep a fresh cut no matter what.  There are others though who tailor their hair to whatever women are digging at the time, then once they snatch her up they resort to the bald head look.

Most men go to the gym on a regular basis, or are at least active in some way.  There are plenty that are not active at all, but those are not the same ones trying to use the gym as a confidence builder.  Unfortunately, there are many men who go to the gym just to get their game on for the ladies, and this is not an issue if the person stays consistent regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not.

The subset of men who decide that once they get comfortable in a relationship it is okay to skip out on excercise or watching what you put into your body.  It’s a vicious cycle because you will all of a sudden see the guy pop back up at the gym six months later because the relationship ended.

Maybe all of this is a moot point, but why do people stop doing the things they did to get in a relationship with the person initially?  Can someone really complain that it did not workout when you have gained 30 pounds, your clothes don’t fit anymore, and your hair is a hot mess?  Regardless of where you fall on these issues the simple truth is that most people will fall off a little bit, but it should not be to the point where a person it completely different than they where when the relationship started unless it’s an improvement of an existing flaw.

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People have to face the facts break-ups are part of dating, and there will be many more relationships that do not work out than ones that do.  In most relationships there will always be one person who is more “invested” or into the other person more than they are into them, and this is typically the person who ends up getting the worst of it when the relationship ends.

A romantic break-up does make an individual’s self-concept vulnerable to change, according to a study.  Self-concept is defined as a person’s sense of me.  Romantic partners develop shared friends, activities and even overlapping self-concepts; if you mix in the intertwining family and friend relationships it makes separation much more difficult.

The researchers used three studies to examine self-concept changes that can occur after a break-up.  They found that individuals have reduced self-concept clarity after a break-up and this reduced clarity can contribute to emotional distress.  The loss of the relationship has multiple psychological consequences, including the tendency for individuals to change the content of their selves and the feeling that their selves are subjectively less clear and even smaller.

What happens under most circumstances is when the break up occurs if you are the person being dumped (usually the most invested party), you have to learn how to regain the person you were before entering the relationship.  The longer you are in a relationship the harder this task can be because you often lose your sense of individuality because of the bond you develop with your significant other.  People must learn to over come this and remember activities and friends they had when they were single, getting back into things you were interested in during your single days will help with the recovery.

The worst thing a person can do is to try and jump into a relationship right after a break up in an attempt to forget the other person.  This rebound dating will only lead to another failed relationship most of the time, and that is the last thing a person needs who is trying to regain their sense of self.  The best course of action is to stay single, go on dates, and focus on things that you enjoy doing.  The main factor is people in this situation should avoid getting into a serious relationship until they have re-developed the sense of their individual self.

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Women and men go into relationships for different reasons, for the men it may be the prospect of getting some all the time versus sporadically, and for the women it may be a roll of the die towards marriage. It could even be vice versa, we can’t paint a broad stroke over entire genders without giving attention to the exceptions – it’s just not fair. So you get into a relationship for whatever reason and you begin to get the questions from prying friends about the status. You may be wondering yourself if you are on the train to nowhere with your sweetheart whispering soft nothings in your ear to lull you into acceptance of this. Well this is my advice to those of you who are pondering this:

Remember the conversations of your first date. Many times a person will clue you in to his/her intentions when they are honest from shyness or alcohol and you brushing it off killed your chances of seeing what the future holds. You should also observe patterns based on exes and gauge your status on things that factor from that. A good example of this is when you find out that you were a rebound – people always behave too optimistically about rebound relationships working out. Rebounds are disastrous and the gap from being a piece of ass to being the love of his/her life is a wide chasm.

Read your Mate – The Signs Are There

Unless your mate is a super tight closed book, there are clues he/she gives from a 3rd person perspective that you MUST take heed of because it also applies to you. If your guy or gal is very anti-marriage why would you think that he/she would be looking to marry you? If she urges all of her girlfriends to go find a man with money… and you are broke… why aren’t you taking that as a hint? If he is constantly being caught looking at chicks from a particular race, build or set (of which you aren’t a part of) maybe he feels you are a compromise.

The Misunderstood Male

Many times us guys are misunderstood with our intent in a relationship. Women let their bitter, nosy, bitchy girlfriend’s brow beat them into forcing an ultimatum out of their guys and on the flip side men view ultimatums as an attack. For many guys it’s timing, if he truly loves you, believes in marriage and wants you he will seal the deal eventually. Rushing him to get there fast because of your prearranged childhood dreams of 2 kids by 28 or rushing him because it’s been x years and that’s just too long will see you out in the cold dark night of regret.

Many times us men have dreams just like you do and we want to do it correctly. Most men are not cool with breaking the bank for a sub-par engagement ring only for you to laugh at it behind his back with that bitch of a girlfriend who hates him (this is our thoughts). We want to see you light up as if we gave you a planet, and know that we have the resources to handle our manly duty. You may say “I don’t care we can work on that together!” but men do not think this way. A broke man is an unhappy and broken man… sadly if you have a broke man who wants this ideal but isn’t exacting any change or making moves to better his position, you will be stuck with dead weight (sorry fellas I have to be honest).

It’s all about the signs, communication and listening. When I say communication I do not mean an interrogation where you sit him/her down and demand where you stand. What I mean is that in your daily idle talks, movie watching and play time, you observe how your partner thinks, and how they view you. When you are willing to listen, and accept the plain truth, you will then know where you and your relationship stand.

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Today we have a guest post from Keith Reed, this is an article he wrote for another website.  With the subject matter in this article being highly discussed in society today, his take is a good one that a lot of people are starting to share.  This issue and discussion are growing old, despite that fact you continue to see it pop up almost everywhere.

Before mainstream media does its next  “Why black women can’t get married” treatment,   everybody breathe. Essentially when pieces like this run, you get the typical, knee-jerk reactions: “Why are the media exacerbating the statistics?”

“I’m so tired of stories about black women unable to find a man.”

Those are fair criticisms. I spent a decade working for big newspapers, magazines and the like and will be the first to admit that stories involving black folks’ intra-racial conflicts are usually crafted with the nuance of a sledgehammer by reporters and editors with a collective black cultural IQ of a class of D students.

But clueless white journalists don’t make for the most  valid critique of the recent work on black romantic relationships. The true fallibility of the sistas-can’t-get-hitched narrative is that it invariably revolves around statistics presented without context, and those kinds of statistics — the ones without something to compare them to — always lack relevance.

Putting the numbers on black relationships and marriage rates on paper or on air without telling us where we stand compared with other races, for example, lacks any real meaning. All year we’ve heard about a study that said 42 percent of black women in their prime marrying years are single. The conclusion quickly drawn by reporters and pundits was that “successful” (a word usually defying definition; are you successful if you drive a Benz but are in debt and self-loathing?) black women have left black men in the dust educationally and economically and are doomed to life alone because of it. Media ran with it: ABC’s Nightline did several segments, the New York Times and other media gave the data prominent treatment.

But that easy conclusion fizzles when you give the underlying data context: the percentage of all US  women, regardless of race, who have never been married has been increasing for decades. The same is true for men of all races. Though many, including myself, still believe marriage has a very important place in society (if not our own personal lives), the numbers don’t lie in saying that the institution has been in decline across the board, not just among sisters. Besides, many black women are single by choice and many others are lesbian or bisexual and not necessarily looking for committed relationships with men. Still others date interracially, decimating the premise that all of the available and unmarried black women are starved by an undersupply of brothers.

Beyond that, not every black woman is “marriageable” by the same standards that researchers and pundits use to exclude black men from the available pool. The 42 percent figure likely doesn’t subtract black women who fall into categories that would make anyone less “marriageable” by traditional definitions. The rate of incarceration among black women in the US is growing faster than that of black men, if only because there are but so many black men you can toss in jail. Black women have the highest rates of new HIV infections in the US. And despite the hoopla over black women surging financially while black men languish, a study I blogged about earlier this year showed that black women of prime marrying age lag black men, white men and women and Asian men and women in terms of net worth.

If you follow the logic that says looking for a hetero, single black man to marry will yield a bunch of underachieving, noncommittal fools who might be on the ‘down low’, you might also believe that a search for single, available sistas will yield a crew of HIV candidates who are likely broke and might be involved in criminal activity.

Which is exactly why neither paradigm is a good one and why trying to examine the complexities of relationships in a community as diverse and nuanced as ours by looking at statistics alone is a fail. It is impossible for empirical data, especially presented and regurgitated without analysis, context, nuance, cultural understanding and compassion, to lend a real understanding of a subject so layered.  And that, perhaps, is as it should be. After all, relationships and marriages happen between two people, not one woman and all of the available men in her city. If it’s one you’re seeking, the other 99.9 percent really don’t matter.

-Keith Reed

Keith Reed (known on the internets as @k_dot_re) has written for The Boston Globe, Essence, Ebony, Black Enterprise, TheRoot.com and blogs at keithreedsmoneycorner.com. He’s been an on-air contributor to PBS, National Public Radio and MSNBC. He is editor of Catalyst Ohio magazine, which focuses on education policy, is on the board of the National Association of Black Journalists, is developing a radio show and writing a book examining the statistics about black relationships. Argue with him on twitter at www.twitter.com/k_dot_re.

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The trend in America is for people to live their lives get married and reproduce, while living in a house on the hills with a white picket fence.  That is what the American Dream is supposed to be, and some have geared their entire life towards getting married just so they can fit into this nice box that society has created for everyone.  There was a time several decades ago when a woman had to marry a man in order to be allowed to move out of her parents home, men would come to the house and “court” the woman until he decided she was fit to be his wife.

That was considered the “proper” way to do things back then, so why in the world are we as a society still doing things the same way?  Have we not evolved and realized that there are better ways to do things, and that just because something was a tradition does not mean it is really useful today?  Studies do show that we are slowly realizing that, as the average age of brides and grooms getting married for the first time has risen steadily in recent years.  Here are five reasons you should wait to settle down.

1. The older you are when you get married the more mature both people are, so that typically leads to a longer lasting marriage with less problems.  In 2008, the PEW Research Center reported a strong correlation between the older age of a couple at the time of marriage and their likelihood to stay married. For those who are still waiting to find the right one, and for those who are starting over, this is great news.

2. One thing that is a constant is that we as people continue to learn things about ourselves everyday, and as each day passes you learn more and more about the person you are.  This means you will have a much better understanding of the person you are, and what you have to offer someone else. You’ve had the chance to strain out some of your own less becoming traits in other relationships. So you probably like yourself better than when you were younger, and a partner will benefit from your self-acceptance and emotional generosity. Your best self (so far) becomes the person you get to present to your life-long mate.

3. In the long run you will have a healthier family situation because you will be more ready to offer a stable home.  Establishing a vocation is likely to mean that you’ve had more time to chip away at debts and grow your financial stability. This creates a more stable environment for raising children.  You’re not as foolish, reactionary, or raw as you may have been in younger years. You’ll be more likely to pass along strong character traits to your children and not unhealthy patterns you’ve outgrown and already worked through. Your offspring will greatly benefit from your decision to wait and choose wisely.

4. You have withstood the test of time, and are more reliably able to commit to someone and stay with it.  You’ve had the chances to get an education, establish a career, or at least develop good work ethics. This means that you also have had chances to learn how to stick to your word through various circumstances. You know better than to get into a commitment when you recognize it won’t work. You’re likely to have paid consequences for unreliability, so you’ll choose commitments carefully and take them more seriously.

5. You have sowed all the Oates you needed to when you were in college, and a single person working at their first job.  People who get married at a young age without dating other people tend to struggle with the question of “What did I miss?”, and are more likely to be curios about what is out there.  A person who remained single and dated many people will have grown tired of juggling multiple dates, managing their black book, and finding ways to let the other person down easily.  Getting to know a new person almost every week starts to get old, and when they do decide to settle down with that one person there is no curiosity because they have already experienced it.

When you consider the legacy you are building and leaving behind, never fret that it’s “too late.” It is the maturity that you bring to the table that will increase the joy and improve the quality in your partnership and family life.  That is why waiting to settle down may just be the right move for you.

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When you get to your mid 30’s living by the old standby of “I ain’t dating no chicks with kids” will keep you single forever so most guys adjust it to a number, she can only have (x) amount of kids. Knowing this sucks for the woman who got pregnant married out of high school, established a family early and can’t find the father fell out with the man later (for whatever reason), I will preface this by saying that I feel your pain. Many times the standards will get thrown out the door if the woman is fine beyond imagination, but when a man goes into a relationship with a woman and isn’t prepared for the woman AND her kids, he is setting himself up for a big bowl of fail.

One thing you have to realize at 30+ is that you aren’t exactly that young anymore, you aren’t 21 and you aren’t 25. You are at an age that required you to be solidly on your man game were it 40 years ago, so realize that at 30 you are a MAN, not a young man, not an old man, but a man. If you think that you can date a woman and push her kid(s) aside, you won’t be around long if you aren’t careful. The single parent dilemma is felt the hardest by the children, and as a product of such a household I am lucky enough to have this insight in my dating life. Many guys just don’t know how to deal with a child that isn’t theirs and it becomes immediately evident to the child, even when the mom is disillusioned into thinking the guy is perfect.

Advice to Single Mothers in the Dating Game

Ask your Teen: If you have a teenager or clever pre-teen it is important that you get their approval after an introduction or two is made with potential lover. If your kid has daddy issues, as in wanting your ass to stay lonely in hopes of your whoring ex coming back into your life – then go ahead and don’t introduce new guy, your kid needs help, work on your house before you scar the poor sucker into courting you. Nothing wrecks a relationship faster than a bratty child that’s unwilling to play ball. If you have good repor with your child, have regular talks with them and they respect you, then it is important that you get the kid’s approval.

Check his credentials: If you have a toddler or baby and the guy is okay with dating you then this next step is important. You may need to run some sort of background check or something to know what kind of temperament the guy has. A suave, zen-like guy who can hold in his inner lion is great but if you have a temper tantrum throwing lunatic around your baby, you need to drop him like a bad habit. I have been seeing way too many incidents of jackasses punching babies, throwing them from cars and suffocating them all because they can’t take the heat. Ladies listen, this man did not get used to a kid screaming like you did, he was not kept up nights tending to the crying and projectile poop, he isn’t seasoned in this. If he has a temper, or sociopath tendencies then an unsupervised screaming baby will be at his mercy. Think about it, you may just want to hold off for a man who has a kid himself or slow down on dating until your child is old enough to fight back.

Greg love the kids The Dos and Donts of Dating a Woman with Children

Advice to Men Dating Women with Children

Guys this is hard if you aren’t a lover of children. I cannot stress this any harder, if kids annoy you, or if they get in the way for you, then stick to women who lack kids (if you can find them). Grab a Cougar whose children are in college and beyond, or grab some seasoned jail bait (18-19) and stay the hell away from women in their 30s. If you love kids, or are tolerant of kids in a friendly way, then you must realize that dating a woman with a child is like dating two people. You have to cater to both on some level, especially if the child is a female herself. Engage the child in conversation when he/she’s around but make it natural conversation, not forced conversation. Most teens are cynical and standoffish to new boyfriends so you have to expect hostility initially. Don’t go turning on the young man’s Madden game and professing your “skills” in hopes that the video game will bond you to him. Don’t go talking about the girl’s favorite band as if you listen to it, because she probably knows that you don’t and you will look like a fool trying to get in.

You do not what to appear as if you are talking the kid up in order to score panty points with his/her momma. It’s very obvious when we do this and kids read that stuff immediately. Here’s what you do, treat the kid like another adult and engage conversation and bonding the way you would if you were stuck in a house with random dude or girl. Take it slow and be yourself (unless you’re an annoying jackass), help out when you can or when you’re asked and the number one thing is to be good to their mom. Being a boyfriend who openly bombs on mom in front of the kids or being that guy breaking mom’s heart will forever lock you into asshole mode in their minds and you will never get over it. It is not your place to discipline an unruly child either, check his/her mom on that, and if it gets too much call it a day and leave.Having to play daddy when you’re simply dating a woman is not fair to you either, so don’t ever let them lay that on you as a responsibility. If you’re gonna play daddy, you probably should go ahead and marry her, for dating keep it at “hi, how was school, I like your dress, goodnight”.

Kids aren’t as naive as you think

If you and the woman are just trying to fu… wait I mean have sex then you should not be meeting her kids. If she is allowing you to meet the kids right before you beat it and skate1 then she is a dumb ass beyond compare. In the information age kids know what the hell is going on and that awkward feeling you get when she forces 12 yr old Johnny to go to bed so you all can make out on the couch is warranted. Women you gotta be smarter than this, go back to his crib, keep your kids out of it, get your fu.. er sex on and leave the kids with a babysitter.

So remember it’s not so simple as a number when deciding to date a woman who has a child. You can’t just say “I limit it to one kid” if you are a child hater, keep it real and stick to single women who don’t have or want kids. For you guys that can handle a woman with 2-3 kids, you get all the props in the world because stats-wise I always feel that one of them will be the hater/cock blocker. If you can charm 3 kids and lock up the mom then you are a champion amongst men and I tip my hat off to you. So go forth, date, have fun and remember when children are concerned you have to give respect in order to earn respect. Stop throwing babies out of cars and get your step-daddy on, it’s all in the way you play it.

Cross Posted from www.HallofTheBlackDragon.com

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